Have you ever gotten upset over something – like this door?
Yeah, I know. It sucks, and yet it happens all the time. Kids write on things. They break things. They destroy things. I know exactly how frustrating that can be. Been there. Done that. But let’s all stop for a minute and put these moments in perspective.
This door, with the crayon marks all over it, leads into our master bath off of our main bedroom. However, this same door used to lead into our five-year-old son’s room. There was a time when we looked at that door and we saw a frustrating moment in time. A time when a little child did something wrong. But now the sight of that door brings a smile to our faces. It serves as a reminder of a time when Seth was with us. It reminds us that even when he was being mischievous, he was the light in our world.
When you lose a child you see the world much differently. That door no longer needs “fixed” like we once thought it did. Instead, we will forever cherish it as it is. You see, it’s a door that we used to be excited to open because we knew what was behind it. We knew when we opened that door our world was about to get better. Our lives were about to get brighter. That door was a path to the single most amazing place on earth. It led into a room filled with love, laughter, hugs, kisses, and endless playtime. It was a doorway to the most magical place that could possibly exist.
Now that door no longer allows us to walk into the room that made our world better. It no longer allows us to escape reality and live on a higher plane for a few hours at a time. It no longer leads to the joy that only a parent can understand. Now it just leads to the shower. And yet it still reminds us of a time when life was brighter. A time that was more pure. It was a time when we didn’t understand the pain of child loss.
So love your kids, even when those difficult moments come. Don’t lose your temper when they write on that wall (or door). Don’t get overly upset when they won’t eat their vegetables or when they won’t go to bed. Relax when they make that mess. There’s no need to scream and yell like your world’s come crashing down. Instead, cherish those moments. Embrace them. Enjoy them for what they are. Be truly thankful in those moments. Because your world could unexpectedly come crashing down, and a door may be all that you have left.
Follow the author of this article, Tim Maceyko, on Instagram or Twitter @maceyko. Featured books by this author include Child Loss 101 and When the Cardinal Calls.